I think they want us to be silent.
It's amazing how silence is deadly. The longer you wait to speak up about something that is hurting you, the harder it becomes. At least, a lot of things have turned into regrets that way, for me.
It's hard. To be honest in a pretend world. It seems like people everywhere want you to be happy, even if that means faking it. How many memes have I seen go by, touting "a smile is better than a frown" or "just smile even if it doesn't mean anything". The "grin and bear it" mentality is dangerous. Why are we encouraged to deny what we feel? Why is it a societal abnormality to be sad or heartbroken?
I remember a particular time when I was struggling with depression and anxiety. I remember thinking "this is how all those people feel - this is what it's like to have your heart broken." And in that moment so many things suddenly made sense to me. A flood of songs, lyrics, and stories suddenly rang true. This pain is what the whole of our race is feeling. If you are a human, you have experienced pain. It comes in various shapes and forms, yes, but we all have felt the sting.
Why then, are we silent about it? As humans, we are all in this together. We are all living this beautiful life and each page of our story, one day at a time. So why should we force ourselves to look happy when we are dying inside? Why should we pretend for those that don't really care about us?
I feel that this fact keeps us alone, when we are hurting....when we need other humans the most desperately. We don't want to be "abnormal" or "weird" or labeled with one of those labels that society comes up with, like "crazy" or "screwed up".
I have a message for you:
You are not crazy. You are not messed up. You are not ruined. You are not finished. This pain is not going to last forever and you will overcome. You are not alone in your fight. And we will sing together until this silence is broken.
Because you deserve healing. And the beginning of healing is breaking the silence around the pain you are going through.
You deserve to sing your song, even if it is a sad one. It doesn't matter if the chord at the end can't resolve into a blissful major note. It is still your song. This is still your story.
You deserve to say how you feel and still be loved and accepted. You deserve life and love and the realization that hope will never leave your side.
Don't give up. I believe in you. Sing it out. Xo
"Sing it out, sing it out.
Take what is left of me,
And make it a melody.
Sing it out, sing out loud.
I can't find the words to say,
You'll be my remedy.
My soul, my soul.
I sing with what's left of me."
--Switchfoot's Jon Foreman